I had an interesting conversation with a friend the other day. He was troubled about what the Lord would ask of him as he worked out his salvation. His questions were the same questions that a lot of us ask ourselves. How do you know that insights and inspiration you receive comes from the right source? How can you trust yourself to choose correctly further down the road when you are really being tested, I mean tested in a way that you can’t fathom at the present time? Will the Lord deceive you like He did Abraham? These are all good questions.
His greatest fear was that he could become a son of perdition. After all, Cain was of the elect of God and occupied a place of heirship from Adam if he had kept his nose clean. I was surprised by his concern. I had never heard this worry from anyone before, and I was only too happy (prideful) to give him my opinion. I told him that he needed to have faith in the process, that God would not lead him astray, and that he was overthinking it too much.
Since then I have had time to think about our discussion and have started to realize that my friend was on to something. He was being much the wiser and more knowledgeable man in that discussion. I believe now that his fears have some validity, and we should not take lightly the dangers of seeking to have our calling and election. In our conversation my friend asked if the Lord would deceive us as part of the test, and if He would, how would we know? After all, the Lord deceived Abraham in order to test him.
I am beginning to understand that the Lord is going to test us every step of the way, and these tests will increase in difficulty, eventually creating paradoxes in our minds; damned if you do, and certainly damned if you do not. The tests will cause you to rethink what you thought about righteousness. Do you hold fast to the commandments and the laws or do you do what the Lord asks you to do? Do you hold on to virtue as you understand it or do you follow righteousness? To add to the complexities of the test , how will you know it is the Lord that is the source of the request?
Joseph Smith said that if you drive a stake in the ground and declare that you will go no farther you will be an angel in the next life. You will not sit at Abraham’s table. Your tests, then, will involve forcing you to make a decision that takes you another step beyond your stake. If you say, I will do anything that the Lord will ask of me, but I will never (state a condition or task) , guess what your test will be. If you say, I would never practice polygamy, or I will do anything but please don’t ask me to give away my possessions or leave my family. Guess what the Lord is going to ask you eventually to do. It isn’t the Lord that decides the test, it is you that is deciding what your test will be. According to the Lectures on Faith you must be willing to give up all things, and the Lord will eventually test you on the thing that you fear most.
As you advance in knowledge and light, you will receive greater tests. That is why Paul said, “work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.” (Philippians 2:12). This was what my friend was afraid. Once you reach a certain level of priesthood or knowledge there is no going back and you must advance and pass the test or you stagnate, or worse. Be careful what you ask for if you are seeking a calling and election in this life, because you just may receive it. Now you become a candidate for Perdition.